Valentine's

The merchandise for this day of celebrating love is a mixture of sweetness, genuine sentimentality, and... crushing guilt. I got a bunch of pictures for it, to poke fun at, so if you're one of those people who can't really celebrate Valentine's Day, at least enjoy some funny picture comments. And if you haven't bought something yet, you might be in trouble!

Planet-themed plushies. The Saturn one says "Put a ring on it!" because Saturn has rings on it. But also... Yowza! No pressure! If you give this to somebody, does that count as a wedding proposal?! This could easily the best Valentine's Day gift... or the worst.

Nice try with the periods between the letters. So we all know that GOAT stands for Greatest Of All Time. But you still paired it with an actual goat plushie. So Which is it? Goat or GOAT? If you give this to somebody, YOU might be the real goat.

We all love Grogu, but this candy fan thing still seems a little out of place among all the Valentine's stuff. I guess it's got candy in it, so...

I had to stretch a few pictures that I thought could "count" as Valentine's Day-related. Here's a funny packaging for Elita-1. The way she is tied down into the packaging is um... do we need to know she's into that kind of thing?

This is close to being Sweet Heart. I had a funny conversation recently where I said this was the only reason to go to Popeye's... the Sweet Heat sauce. 

Yikes! This is not meant to be Valetine's-related at all, but be very careful that you don't hang this above your bed. Maybe not anywhere in the bedroom at all! 

The paired-up plushie sets include things like Steak and Potato, Broccoli and Cheese. But I extra-smiled when I saw Chicken and Waffles. That's a combo I approve of.

I posted this in the Valentine's Day group because otherwise it's kind of inappropriate to rub your fingers all up and down this poor girl's outfit. Who thought this was a good idea?

I hope your Valentine's Day doesn't go like this illustration; crushed into a million pieces. You think they could have used a different word on the package than "crushed"?

FREE Peeps chocolate dipping? Where do I sign up!?

If you and your Valentine are having trouble picking a movie, roll a dice! Is this what we've come to? Dice-rolling?

What a terrible choice of wording for this Ms. Monoply box. I know the intent was to celebrate things that were invented by women, like Wi-Fi. But it kind of reads like "go to the kitchen, woman, and make me some chocolate chip cookies!" Because men are incapable of cooking them.

AAAAAGGGHHHH!!! This bear has had it's insides ripped out! The horror! Oh... those are supposed to be flowers? It still looks... painful. Very painful.

I laughed when I considered posting this picture in this group of pictures. Taken at a Jersey Mike's Subs. Look at that pile of bacon! Who doesn't LOVE bacon!?

What is wrong with people? How is poop, in any way, something to like as a thing to suck on? It's because it's SOOOO silly, right? Am I getting too old? I think this is called a "filter" if I don't get the joke.

I don't think Wednesday Addams would like to be grouped together with the Valentine's Day pictures, but I'm going to do it anyway. It's just that I finally see some merchandise available for this great show, and I'm looking for an excuse to mention it. The dance on this shirt is a highlight of the series.

Another vague-ly relevant thing for Valentine's Day. I watched the Supergirl TV series and honestly the show was kind of bad. Lots of it. The plots, episodes, special effects. Awful. Except the lead actress Melissa Benoist. She was bursting with so much enthusiastic charisma, the show was still watch-able, and I looked forward to seeing it every week, despite how oddly un-watchable the rest of it was. Happy Valentine's Day Supergirl! (Later on, Jon Cryer's Lex Luthor was amazing, too.) 

Shoved into the corner of the McDonald's was an awesome employee-made poster. If you don't have anyone to be your Valentine, Big Mac will step up.

I once knew a Build-a-Bear named... Valentine. It's ironic that this is pictured on a box of bandages, because seeing it made my friend hurt.

Whew! Let's try and recover from that last picture that gave my friend "the feels". Slow it down a little. Is anybody in this type of relationship?

Oh yeah. Nothing screams "Valentine's Day" like.... football? What do you want, babe? I'm trying to watch the game!

Hugs and Kisses. And bourbon. LOTS of bourbon.

My friend realized he says "that's my jam" a lot, and doesn't even really eat jam. So, he doesn't exactly know what type of literal jam he likes. Mind blown!

The very best thing the new Star Wars movies did was that bit where Kylo Ren explains to Rey that she has no backstory. "...You come from nothing. You're nothing......... But not to me." [hold out his hand] Oh... chills! It's such a tragedy that they erased that moment in the next film by making her the most not-nothing ever. Still, I think Kylo Ren would make a pretty good Valentine, for the most part.

Really? I kinda want to read it to make sure the character being called "stinky face" is not tormented by low self-esteem. At least it grabbed my attention, right?

I was never a fan of the term "bae" but I laughed when I saw Zombaes. Valentine's for forever!

Chomp! That's what you want from your Valentine? Um... sure? Why not. It would take too long to explain, but this looks like it was made very specifically for a good friend of mine.